Is there a best parenting style?

Feb 26, 2025

Hi Parent, for starters, I applaud you for clicking on this link! With so many distractions and tasks to accomplish daily, making time to read about child education and development may be hard. So, I’ll try to make this as quick and informative as possible. Disclaimer: I am not trying to teach you anything here; I’m simply conveying the information researchers have found over the years.

Although it may sound like a new topic, parenting styles have been discussed since the 1960s. During that time, Diana Baumrind opened the discussion by publishing a series of articles addressing parenting styles. In the 1980s, Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin expanded the initial findings, resulting in four major parenting styles. Researchers also figured out which style works best and which characteristics are more likely to result from each style.

In order from least effective to most effective, here they are:

4. Neglectful (Permissive/Hostile) is the least effective and most damaging style. The combination of low warmth and no boundaries can lead to emotional and behavioral problems, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

3. Permissive (Permissive/Loving) is the second least effective style. While loving, the lack of boundaries can hinder a child’s development. Children may struggle with self-discipline, impulse control, and respect for authority.

2. Authoritarian (Firm/Hostile). While it provides structure, lacking warmth and communication can lead to negative outcomes. Children may be obedient but anxious, have low self-esteem, and are prone to aggression or rebellion.

1. Authoritative (Firm/Loving) is consistently ranked as the most effective style. It balances clear rules and expectations with warmth, responsiveness, and open communication. Children raised through this style tend to exhibit higher self-esteem, better social skills, greater academic achievement, and higher emotional regulation.

The defining word of effective parenting is BALANCE. While not an exact science, a reasonable goal is to strive to set the rules and boundaries while showing them lots of love.